


in love with the colors of you

by CapriciousCrab



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comfort, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Introspection, M/M, Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 10:51:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19271758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapriciousCrab/pseuds/CapriciousCrab
Summary: Phil takes a deep breath and clicks play.





	in love with the colors of you

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to insectbah for the beta work!

 

Phil takes a deep breath and clicks play.

 

He’s read the script. He knows that there are no surprises waiting for him as he watches the video back, ready to make notes or suggestions as he does. Dan expects him to be brutally honest for this one and the responsibility sits heavy on his shoulders. Dan wants this to be perfect; he _needs_ it to be perfect. No wobbles, no messy editing – nothing that could possibly detract from this message that he’s finally ready to share. His truth, told in his own beautifully unique way.

 

The stories that Dan had chosen to share are nothing new to Phil. He’d heard them all years ago, tear-choked confessions of pain and grief whispered in his ear as they clung to each other in Phil's narrow bed, and the swelling rage burns just as fiercely today as it did then. His hands clench into unconscious fists and his stomach tightens with it as the video plays and he watches the subtle shifts of expression that cross Dan’s face on the screen.

 

He looks soft, vulnerable in ways he rarely shows to anyone but Phil and only when they’re safely alone. It feels odd to see that expression in a video that millions will see and it makes Phil want to scoop him up and tuck him safely away where nothing can ever hurt him again, the way he once tried to do so long ago. But Dan’s grown beyond the need for sheltering. He's finally ready to take this step into the light and Phil couldn't possibly be more proud of him than he is right now.

 

It hasn't been an easy video for Dan to make. He’d watched helplessly as Dan struggled this past year to push beyond the fear and the shame, spiraling into bouts of depression so dark it had made Phil weep to see Dan in such pain. He had been powerless to stop Dan’s fall, could only hope to be there to cushion his landing as they’d spent countless nights wrapped around each other, the warmth of their bodies a constant comfort.

 

There’s no sign of that inner turmoil in the video. There’s no shame and no fear: just a calm, steady sense of self that shows in the lift of Dan’s chin and his squarely set shoulders. Eloquent and passionate by turns, charming and sometimes crude, Dan speaks with a confidence that brings tears to Phil’s eyes. He watches the colors shift and change over Dan’s face as the video plays on, a subtle rainbow reflected in the glossy black sequins on his jacket, and is overwhelmed by the desire to cover that face with kisses.

 

Phil watches twice more and makes careful notes as he does. There isn't much he would change, only a handful of editing wrinkles that will be easy enough to smooth out, so he closes out the program and heads for the lounge. He wants Dan now. He needs to tell him all the things that are swirling in his head, filling his heart with so much love and pride he feels like he could burst.

 

He stops a moment at the threshold to take in the sight of Dan sat on the sofa. His long legs are kicked up on the table as he slouches back into the cushions. He’s engrossed in his phone, his fingers poking rapidly at the screen, and it reminds Phil to pull out his own, tapping out a quick message.

 

The _ping_ of the notification rings out and Phil presses his lips together to contain his laughter when Dan opens his Twitter.

 

"Phil? Why the fuck did you send me – oh, very funny."

 

"You said you wanted cute mutuals to slide in… well, here I am!" Phil snickers as he rounds the end of the sofa to drop himself directly into Dan’s lap.

 

“Um, excuse me. Did I ask?” Dan huffs as his arms come up to settle around Phil’s waist.

 

He’s smiling but Phil can see the nerves on his face, the sheen of sweat and chewed bottom lip telling him without words that Dan’s afraid of his reaction. It makes something twist in his chest, the protective part of Phil leaping forward to soothe and comfort. He leans closer and kisses Dan’s trembling mouth before settling more comfortably on Dan’s thighs, offering him a bright smile.

 

“Oh, you love it,” Phil teases as he gives an exaggerated wiggle. He grins triumphantly when Dan laughs, a small victory that warms his heart. “You can’t resist the Philussy.”

 

Dan’s groan is loud and heartfelt. “Never say that again. I don’t care how true it is.”

 

Phil laughs and settles against Dan’s chest, resting his head on Dan’s shoulder. They sit quietly for a time, breathing in sync as the tension starts to slip from Dan’s body. He's warm and cozy and Phil could probably drift off to sleep right here but Dan's biting his lip again, waiting for Phil's verdict with bated breath.

 

“It’s brilliant, Dan," he murmurs as he draws aimless patterns on Dan's chest, little squiggles and lines that turn into comforting circles rubbed over Dan's racing heart.

 

Dan sighs and slumps down a little further, his muscles going lax with relief. "Really? So you think it's alright then?"

 

There's so much Phil wants to say. Words of love and devotion, of sheer amazement and awe at Dan’s talent. He wants to tell him that the masterpiece of a video that sits waiting for upload is going to change everything but he holds his tongue, knowing that Dan's not ready to hear all of that yet. He's too vulnerable, his emotions too raw and nerves strung too tight to appreciate the praise Phil wants to pour over him.  It'll keep, he thinks, as he pushes himself up and takes Dan's face into his hands.

 

He presses a kiss to Dan's forehead. "It's incredible." A kiss on the chin. "Amazing." To both cheeks. "Show-stopping –"

 

"Phil, you are _literally_ quoting Lady Gaga at me right now."

 

Phil laughs and holds tight as Dan tries to shove him from his lap. He kisses him once more before looking deep into Dan's eyes.

 

"It really _is_ brilliant. You're strong and brave and I'm so, _so_ proud of you." He watches those warm, brown eyes fill with tears and feels himself getting choked up. "The future is yours, baby. And it's going to be everything."

 

Dan buries his face in Phil's hair and shudders, his arms squeezing Phil in a tight embrace. Phil relaxes and settles deeper into Dan's lap, ignoring the sound of an incoming call as he runs his fingers through the soft hair at the nape of Dan's neck.

 

It'll keep, Phil thinks once more before nudging Dan onto his back, draping himself over Dan like a blanket as they settle in for a nap they both desperately need. He listens to Dan fall asleep and smiles softly before letting himself drift. They have all the time in the world.

 

The future is theirs.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> you can like/reblog [here](https://capriciouscrab.tumblr.com/post/185689345860/in-love-with-the-colors-of-you-rating-g-words)
> 
> come say hi!


End file.
